With Dr Giraffe, you don’t have to worry about things that go bump in the night. Just accept they will happen.
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Things you need if you live with Dr Giraffe: earplugs, decent locks, lawyers on speeddial, up to date tetanus jabs, a vast amount of cleaning products, a spade and a strong constitution.
Things you need if you don’t live with Dr Giraffe: someone who can tell you where he is.
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Like most nerds, Dr Giraffe has detailed zombie survival plans. But his are for the zombies. He’s perfecting them, you see.
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Cocktails you do not want Dr Giraffe to make for you: screwdriver, rusty nail, zombie or bloody mary.
He makes a good martini, plus it’s clear.
Which is handy, because he sometimes gets olives and ovaries confused.
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I never knew that “peer review” could be delivered whilst suspended in a tank full of piranhas.
In other news, Dr Giraffe’s paper on the link between clown costumes and blood donation has been fully supported by the scientific community.
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Who would have thought that the re-animated corpse of Shirley Temple would provide such a wonderful operating theatre assisant.
Dr Giraffe, that’s who!
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